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SUPER BOWL

Other Christmas Gifts

 
(Soon to be found on the Island of Murderous Misfit Toys)

I was xmas shopping for my nieces last week at Barnes & Noblez and came across lots of great gift ideas for the girls. Fun and crafty toys and games were in abundance, and there were no lines! Weekday shopping is the best. Among the cool toys I found, there were even these monster Barbie doll things that seemed popular among the few shoppers there that I wound up buying, even though I thought their insanely thin arms and legs promoted poor body image (I at least bought the versions of the dolls that were wearing the most clothing so they're not totally slutty on top of starving.) Among the cute and cuddly toys section of the store, I came across a display of dolls that creeped me the eff out.

 (She is not your friend. Neither is Bunnicula sitting there next to her.)

What is up with the eyes? Maybe you can't tell from the glare on the packaging, but they have dark button eyes that make them look like Other Mother from Coraline.

(See the resemblance? Gah!)

Other Mother was a scary frightening monster! Why would you want plush dolls that looked like her? At least the slutty monster Barbies I bought don't look like they're out to murder you and eat your soul. They go to high school! Learning is fun!

Clearly I don't understand the Lalaloopsy design aesthetic. Regardless, you won't be finding these Other Xmas Gifts on this Santa's sleigh this year.

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