(Together! We're gonna find our way!)
But let's rewind to the ceremony! What else did we learn?
We learned it can downpour on two big awards shows' red carpets in LA in the same calendar year! That's why they call it "climate change" and not just "global warming" anymore, non-believers. The weather patterns are all out of control! Anyway the rain was just messing with people's heads, literally and figuratively, as the sun came out for most of the entrances but the moisture in the air was enough to make lots of 'dos go all frizzy.
We learned Zoe Saldana would look beautiful in anything, but we didn't need to test that assumption with a truly bizarre Oscar dress that had all these different layers and colors at the bottom... it was so weird.
We learned that Baldwin and Martin know how to tell jokes that make people laugh. Their delightful opening rapport went a long way towards forgiving the show its seemingly endless runtime. They sure put me in a good mood.
We learned that they've extended the acting clips by 200% which seems unnecessary since we learned months ago there was no way Christoph Waltz would lose in the Supporting Actor category. I love that movie. His performance seems better every time I watch it.
We learned there is an animated feature called Secret of Kells that no one has seen but is apparently better than Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs. I have yet to learn if Secret of Kells is available on Netflix.
We learned it takes 15 notes of the main theme from Up before Owen bursts into tears, meaning he cried at least twice during the ceremony when Up won Best Animated Feature and Best Score.
We learned that despite her success, Miley Cyrus has obvious self confidence issues and doesn't know how to stand up straight. She slouched through the red carpet and presenting an award. Stand up straight, girl!
We learned the world needs more banter between the likes of Robert Downey JR and Tina Fey.
We learned my Oscar Predictions were gonna be shot to hell as soon as Hurt Locker took Best Original Screenplay away from Inglourious Basterds. We also learned, through background footage, that winning screenwriter, Mark Boal, didn't have that nice haircut he had while accepting his award while he was making the movie. It was crazy back then!
We learned we're not quite over the loss of John Hughes, nor are we over the emotional impact his movies had on us while growing up. I was not sure if Molly Ringwald's hair was real but BFF assured me she thought it was.
We learned that the Na'vi could've been created without CGI after all when Ben Stiller came out in full blue makeup and yellow eyes. Star Trek won that category, btw, and the win made me really really happy. I love that it was recognized in at least one of the technical categories by the Academy.
We learned Owen likes Rachel McAdams better with darker hair. But still, come on, she is stunning.
We learned 101 other film organizations can't be wrong when Mo'Nique wins an Oscar for Precious. She really deserved it, and I'm pretty sure NO ONE else won any supporting actress award over her for the entire season. Really impressive.
We learned that as we get older, we appreciate the craft involved in the technical categories more and more... but the speeches still kinda... go on for a long time.
We learned the images that made Paranormal Activity so creepy can be parodied in a way that makes the images very funny. Good work, Baldwin and Martin!
(Team Uncomfortable)
We learned Kristen Stewart truly is Bella with the awkwardness and her platonic boyfriend Lautner still has not an ounce of fat on him. He looks mad skinny in a tux.
We learned that Horror Movies finally got their due as legitimate film experience! Always good to see clips from horror staples like Rosemary's Baby, the Exorcist, A Nightmare On Elm Street and... Edward Scissorhands??
We learned that the Geek Squad Oscars always get a hottie starlet as a host. This year it was Elizabeth Banks! Even if they don't walk out of that place with a trophy, all those guys still feel like a winner for one night of the year.
We learned that even though it seemed some Hollywood heavy weight was dropping dead every other day in 2009, the producers decided this was the year they wouldn't try to show everyone famous who had died. They had James Taylor come out to play "In My Life" which at the time I thought was weird because it seems like that song isn't very long. Turns out it isn't. And some dead folks got thee shaft.
We learned that dance numbers at the Oscars will always be polarizing. I loved it, but mostly because it was the League of Extraordinary Dancers and SYTYCD Alums. BFF tried to ask me what the hell the dances themselves had to do with the score of the Hurt Locker or Sherlock Holmes and all I could do was scream "they're interpreting it!!" as i fretted that she's tried to snark through the whole routine and destroy my focus. I really dug it overall, I think BFF was won over by the end.
(So You Think You Can Make This Show A Half Hour Longer Than Anticipated?)
We learned we'd forgotten who Fisher Stevens even if others had not. Now the star of Short Circuit AND Short Circuit has an Oscar! Seriously, anything is possible in show business.
We learned that Kathy Bates was this year's Jack Nicholson, as once the camera found where she was sitting, it kept going back to her for reaction shots throughout the night. Why? I'm not sure. But I believe she just signed on to a David E. Kelley pilot for ABC. That might have something to do with it.
We learned that they kept the "five stars pay tribute to the five nominees" from last year. I was torn because I actually love this addition, but the show has to already be over by 20 minutes and this isn't making anything go faster. But DAMN, there is Michelle Pfeiffer looking hotter than ever, and Julianne Moore just lighting up the stage. She only worked with Colin Firth for 3 days? No one knows Firth better than 3-day-friend Julianne Moore? We also learn that Colin Farrell and Jeremey Renner once spooned in a double bed all night following a wild time in Mexico. Certainly not TMI. Everyone else talks and talks until finally Kate Winslet marches out on stage, puts an end to it, and announces Jeff Bridges had won, to the delight of everyone.
We learned that after 4 plus hours of sassy vogueing to the camera, Gabby Sidibe was emotionally taken down by Oprah's nominee tribute. It seems logical that Oprah will take over hosting the Barbara Walters Oscar Special, now that Walters retired from it, no?
We learned what we already knew remains true - Helen Mirren is so sexy. I can't get over how awesome she looks. I totally lust after Helen Mirren. We also learned that Meryl Streep is the best, has lost more times than anyone, is wearing Project Runway alum Chris March. She's the best.
We learned we really really do love Sandra Bullock and I'm happy the star of Love Potion No. 9 has an Oscar and a Razzie. She's the only person (so far) to win both in one weekend. She accepted both with humility and gratitude. She rules!
(You can tell from this picture there was a moment Babs considered killing her and taking the award.)
We learned that the Academy REALLY had some balls having Barbara Streisand come out to present the Oscar for Best Direction. It was nice that she, who had once been snubbed as a Director for Prince of Tides, got to announce the first female winner for Best Director. But what if Bigelow LOST? I fully expect she would've gone Carrie on their asses. Things could've gone bad, is all I'm saying. I'm glad they didn't.
We learned that Kathryn Bigelow, one-time director of Point Break, now has an Oscar. Seriously, anything is possible in show business. She beat James Cameron, former husband and King Of The World. She looked so thrilled and thankful. I thought her win was great.
We learned that after ten best picture previews they were not gonna waist time even recapping who the nominees were before they announced that The Hurt Locker WON for Best Picture. Fewer tickets have been sold to The Hurt Locker than any other Best Picture winner in Oscar's 80+ years. It's crazy that the least seen winner bested the highest grossing movie ever in the top category. Evangeline Lilly is in an Oscar-Winning movie. Seriously, anything is possible in show business.
(The gang's all here... 'cause it's a really small movie!)
Overall I thought it was a funny show, not to controversial, VERY VERY long, but with good winners. See you all again for it next year!
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