Why I Won't Face Plant Into a Sheet of Ice at 70mph
by Owen Panettieri
i would not bobsled
i would not luge
nor would i skeleton
the risks are huge.
i would not try the Super G
that race would be the death of me.
the downhill scares me. The moguls more.
The slalom shakes me to my core.
The half pipe looks like lots of fun
but just one fall, and I'd be done.
And supercross? You're surely joking.
I think it must be crack you're smoking.
The ski jump looks like suicide
the aerials? i'd run and hide.
Plus add in fog and snow and rain.
i would not luge
nor would i skeleton
the risks are huge.
i would not try the Super G
that race would be the death of me.
the downhill scares me. The moguls more.
The slalom shakes me to my core.
The half pipe looks like lots of fun
but just one fall, and I'd be done.
And supercross? You're surely joking.
I think it must be crack you're smoking.
The ski jump looks like suicide
the aerials? i'd run and hide.
Plus add in fog and snow and rain.
I won't take part. I must refrain.
The Summer Games have much less risk
You run a race. You hurl a disc.
You hit a ball, or ride a horse.
You rarely fear death on the course.
In winter, danger's there all through it.
I tip my hat, but leave them to it.
Team USA, you're brave and bold.
I'd just get hurt. You get the Gold.
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