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Golden Globes 2011: Is He Having A Laugh?

Why so serious, audience?

So the Golden Globes happened last night. It was difficult for me to get in the mood, having just witnessed the complete collapse of my beloved Patriots to the New Jersey Jets. It was so awful. They lose to a team they beat 45-3 just a few weeks ago?? What's worse than them just losing though, is that they played SO BAD. Hopefully I'll get to watch Rafa win his opening round match at the Australian Open tonight and that will help me forget about football and focus me mentally on obsessing over Nadal for another year.

But back to the Globes. It was a mix of sure bets and surprise upsets taking home the trophies. The Hollywood Foreign Press Association is such a fake organization to begin with, you can never really tell who they are going to choose as winners. That, along with the fact that everyone there gets really drunk and rowdy, is the whole point of tuning in. Here are some personal highlights and bizarro moments:

Ricky Gervais: Baddest Man In the Whole Damn Town. Gervais had a drink in his hand and a twinkle in his eye as he went about insulting everyone in his path for 3 hours. I loved it, but I also wasn't in his path at the time. With increasingly little screen time as the show went on, Gervais still managed to land some harsh blows on Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, The Tourist - with added rudeness toward Depp and Jolie who were visibly not amused, Burlesque, Hugh Hefner (along with sexual gagging pantomime), Sex and the City 2, the stars of Sex and the City 2, Robert Downey Jr., Tim Allen, The President of HFPA, Bruce Willis and Steve Carell. Gervais really got the crowd against him with a joke involving I Love You Phillip Morris, saying, ''Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor, two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous Scientologists, then!'' He let us know his lawyers helped him craft that line. At the end of the night with only seconds remaining, he thanked God for making him an atheist, just for good measure. The crowd didn't appreciate the attacks, but I thought his performance as host was much more in line with his brand of humor than his hosting gig last year, which I thought was a little tame. Clearly as he prepped for taking the piss out of Hollywood last night, he put one of those Golden Globe statues where his heart ought to be. Well played, Ricky.

Katey Sagal -FTW! It was great that Katey Sagal won for Best Actress - TV Drama since she is regularly passed over for even a nomination at every other award show for TV. I've been a huge fan of hers since Married... With Children. I think she's done really strong work throughout her career, looked totally great last night and deserved her moment in the spotlight with a trophy in hand. Congrats, lady!

Julianne Moore - WTF? Usually Julianne looks beautiful at these events. Last night she did not. Her dress was so perplexing with half her collar/necklace being tucked underneath this giant amount of fabric on her shoulder... I can't believe it made sense to anyone on her team. What were they thinking? I love her to death, but this wasn't a good look on her.

The Social Network Dominates. It won for score, screenplay, director and best picture drama. I wouldn't be surprised if it wins those 4 categories net month at the Oscars either. I didn't have quite the emotional experience with that movie as I did with its competition this year, but I recognize it as a really strong piece of film and don't begrudge it its success. Especially since other films to which I did respond more passionately will most likely be recognized in the acting and technical categories like Colin Firth for The King's Speech, Natalie Portman for Black Swan, The supporting actors in The Fighter and cinematography and editing for Inception.

Glee Dominates. Glee repeated this year as Best Musical/Comedy champ. It's not TV's best comedy, but who can argue it's not its Best Musical? Also wins and lovely speeches by Chris Colfer and Jane Lynch in the supporting categories were two high points of the TV portion of the awards. Seeing the whole cast ascend the stage, I marveled once again at how many people are on that show. There are now nearly 20 student roles that are regular and recurring and 10 adults regular and recurring. That's a lot of people in one show, and we're not even counting all the guest stars! They must've had three tables worth of people there in the audience las tnight. It's nice they all had so much to celebrate.

Pacino and Deniro talked for way too long. Somehow the show was brought in on time, but it was not for the efforts of these two Hollywood icons. Pacino won for playing Jack Kevorkian and tried to euthanize the audience with a rambling drawn out speech much like he did at the Emmys this past fall. Deniro got the Cecil B. DeMille award and tried his hand at stand up in a room that was already in a bad mood because of Gervais. At least he made a quip about Little Fockers before Ricky had a chance. Apparently De Niro accidentally broke his trophy while heading backstage. Some people can't have nice things.

Halle Berry WTF (in a good way). Halle Berry blew everyone away in my opinion last night looking effing gorgeous... but then I went back and looked at her actual dress which is kinda crazy. But I didn't even NOTICE the dress last night. Her face and her body are unbelievable. Put her in Bjork's old swan dress - who cares?? I feel like Ms. Berry hasn't been around in a while, so it's always nice when someone shows up and somehow looks hotter than you even remembered her being in the first place and you're like "Holy F, make some more damn movies for me to see." She was nominated for a movie I'm almost entirely convinced was not released in 2010. Fandango is giving me conflicting stories, saying it was released Dec. 17th, but is somehow not screening anywhere near New York City a month later. I find this highly suspect.

Well, lots of other stuff happened, but it's been almost 24 hours so it will all be soon forgotten as we head to the next Awards show of the season. The Golden Globes will probably never have Ricky back as host, but I think that's a damn shame because he is awesome and maybe mean, but his unpredictability is highly watchable. On a final note I would like to say that I love that the Golden Globes keeps the same theme music year after year. It feels equal parts familiar, dramatic and insane - which is the best way to encapsulate the Golden Globes viewing experience.

Also? This happened:


She looked so confused all night... I hope she got home okay.

ALSO!!!! THIS HAPPENED!!!!

There is a new HBO show to be created out of these two characters. RUSH. SWINTON. Doing anything dressed like this. PLEASE??

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